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If the Buddha Dated: A Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path, by Charlotte Kasl
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Zen and the art of falling in love . . .
At once practical, playful, and spiritually sound, this book is about creating a new love story in your life. Drawing from Christian, Buddhist, Sufi and other spiritual traditions, If the Buddha Dated shows how to find a partner without losing yourself. Kasl, a practicing psychotherapist, workshop leader, and Reiki healer for thirty years, offers practical wisdom on using the path to love as a means of awakening.
If the Buddha Dated teaches that when you stay loyal to your spiritual journey, you will bring curiosity, fascination, and a light heart to the dating process.
- Sales Rank: #9420 in Books
- Color: Multicolor
- Published on: 1999-02-01
- Released on: 1999-02-01
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 7.10" h x .40" w x 5.00" l, .33 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 240 pages
Review
Praise for If the Buddha Dated
“[Charlotte Kasl] adds an entirely new level of understanding to our lives through love and not fear.” —Geneen Roth, author of When Food is Love
“[This book] focuses not on a lot of basic how-to's or manipulations but on creating spiritual bonds. Kasl does a beautiful job weaving Eastern philosophy into modern day relationships.” —Janet Luhrs, author of Simple Loving and The Simple Living Guide
Praise for If the Buddha Married
“[Kasl] brings the Buddha's wisdom to the complex world of relationships. We've all heard that marriage can be a spiritual experience; reading this book, you actually believe it.” —Marianne Williamson, New York Times bestselling author of A Return to Love and A Year of Miracles
“Filled with succinct and practical advice that is immersed in spiritual wisdom.” —Brenda M. Schaeffer, author of Is It Love or Is It Addiction? and Love's Way
Praise for If the Buddha Had Kids
“Dr. Kasl provides a wonderful blend of Buddhist wisdom, practical suggestions, psychological research, and her own rich perspective of being a mother. Parents will find this book very helpful in their efforts in promoting healthy brain development.” —Daniel Ladinsky, author of Love Poems from God, A Year with Hafiz, and The Purity of Desire
“This book brings the wisdom of the ages to bear to help parents inways that are extraordinarily inspiring and remarkably practical.You discover compassion for your child and compassion for yourself.” —Marti Erikson, PhD, coauthor of Last Child in the Woods
Praise for If the Buddha Got Stuck
“If the Buddha Got Stuck provides a roadmap to freedom and greater possibilities. Regardless of your starting place, Kasl will help you achieve greater joy, authenticity, and peace of mind. . . . Encouraging, practical, beautifully written.” —Laura Davis, author of I Thought We'd Never Speak Again and coauthor of The Courage to Heal
“Charlotte Kasl's new book overflows with insight, humor and eminently practical suggestions.” —Anita Doyle, former Director of the Jeannette Rankin Peace Center, Missoula, MT
“If previous attempts to work with your life from a Western philosophical or psychological perspective encountered gaps . . . [consider this] your bridge.” —Rowan Conrad, PhD, Director, Open Way Mindfulness Center
“If The Buddha Got Stuck brings perspective, inspiring stories, and useful exercises to feel less overwhelmed by life's difficulties.” —Lisa M. Najavits, Ph.D., Associate Professor in Psychiatry, Harvard Medical School and author of Seeking Safety: A Treatment Manual for PTSD and Substance Abuse
About the Author
Charlotte Kasl, Ph.D., a practicing therapist and nationally recognized workshop leader for more than 20 years, has had lifelong connections to feminism, Buddhism, Quaker practice, and Reiki healing. The author of several books including Finding Joy, she lives in Lolo, Montana.
Most helpful customer reviews
130 of 137 people found the following review helpful.
Crawl, Don't Fall, In Love!
By Nana Annie
This book, written by a Quaker psychotherapist with an interest in Sufism and Buddhism, is a treasure for adults (of all ages!) who wonder why dating and relationships are so difficult. This book isn't intended to educate any of us in Buddhism as a faith, but to speak to those who want a fulfilling intimate love relationship.
Western culture's view of love -- often a hard-to-fulfill expectation of love-at-first-sight encounter, based on a strong and immediate physical attraction, ending with a happily-ever-after-fairy tale conclusion -- has confused, disheartened and frustrated many of us who just can't make that kind of romance last for long, let alone forever.
This book combines Buddhist, Quaker and Sufi spiritual philosophy to love, helping us clear our minds. Kasl calls this, "crawling in love," and says, "When we crawl in love we are more likely to find the true fire of hearts meeting..."
As another reviewer stated, the information in the book is "common sense, nothing original in it at all." That comment, I suspect, would make the Buddha laugh. We have been on earth so long, certainly there is nothing new under the sun to help us with our relationship problems, only old truths we forget as we get caught up our romantic wish for Love American Style.
Kasl reminds us of some simple truths. Ground yourself in spiritual wisdom, remember the impermanence of everything, learn compassion for yourself and others. She sites some common themes in Quakerism, Buddhism and Sufism - center yourself, take time to reflect, listen to that still small voice within, and you will be able to accept and give love in a deep, lasting way.
She explores our need for an intimate relationship, in a way that is different from the Mars and Venus approach which focuses more on the differences between men and women, tending to widen the gap. Unlike Gray's books, and others which direct us to learn how to say and do the 'right stuff' externally, she encourages us to find connect in the spiritual and human similarities we have with each other, and to respond to each other from our genuine selves.
She touches on ads, dating services, the internet, same gender relationships, dating when there are kids involved, physical intimacy, tonglin meditation, and breaking up.
This book absolutely is not for everyone. The reference to "Christian" spiritual practices on the back cover is misleading, since it actually draws on more liberal, non-dogmatic Quaker practices. If you are more of a Western philospher than an Eastern philosopher, if you would like new ideas spelled out in an easy to follow, guaranteed fashion, you probably should skip this book.
This goes on my own list of books to loan, give or recommend to friends and family members struggling with 'relationship issues.' And to the friend who loaned it to me, I say, Thanks, Jack!
113 of 119 people found the following review helpful.
The best book I've read on relationships of every kind
By A Customer
I have read more than my share of self help books but this is the most helpful book I have ever read. It started out slow - in the first pages I was rolling my eyes because I felt like it was simple stuff I already knew, but by page ten I was engrossed and thrilled. It is simple, straightforward, fun reading, it makes complete sense and helps clarify the issues that come up in every kind of relationship, from partners to potential partners, to family and friends. I could not put it down. I had an 'aha' every few pages, found it joyful and affirming and incredibly helpful. When I was halfway through it I bought 8 more copies and gave them to eight friends. They all loved it and have all given copies to their friends and family. I quickly saw my relationships to others and to myself start to change, I actively used the theories to improve my dynamics with others and one day read just one sentence and completely let go of some pain I'd been carrying for days over a conflict with a friend. Poof - it was gone and I was looking at it from a whole new place and learned a lesson I have used again and again since that day. I also re-established contact with a friend who I'd parted ways with years ago and in one easy conversation we came together again resolved the problem, laughed over how big we'd made it and have had a healthier, happier and closer friendship than ever since. I am back today to order 3 more copies for three more people - one of them is the new man in my life whom I feel this book was intrumental in helping me find. I'm choosing differently, approaching things differently and what's more - I'm happier and feel more clear and peaceful about relationships than I ever have. Get this book and a few extras for the people you love - you won't regret it. And grab your highlighter- there are gems on every page.
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
If Buddah was insane, he would have wrote this book, or tried to read it.
By Amazon Customer
The Author is trying to create visual images, that are nonsensical. Something like " Diving in the Ocean, and rolling on the waves"???
If you scan over most of the book, and try to drag something useful out of it, you would go insane, much like the Author must be.
Her next book should be " If Buddah was Insane", then she could re publish this book as proof.
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